Worst Question Ever

Recently I was asked (what I deem to be one of the worst questions in the world): Why are you still single?


Look, if I knew the answer to that, then I probably wouldn't still be single. 
Some people think I'm being too picky. Maybe I am. But I'm not going to settle for someone who doesn't make me completely happy.  I'm in the market for a particular model. What model is that? Well there's a question that I'm glad you asked.


For me, the perfect man:
-makes me laugh...All. The. Time.
-thinks family is numero uno
-likes that I speak Spanglish
-keeps his nose hairs trimmed...trust me, I know you have it. I do NOT need to see it! And speaking of hair...
-has just the right amount of hair-somewhere between an olympic swimmer and a yeti
-loves sports as much as I do, particularly those played by a certain team of Cardinals
-believes in God
-gets out on the dance floor, shamelessly
-cooks
-cleans
-likes playing board games
-doesn't smoke
-doesn't need to drink to have a good time
-thinks that my mom is awesome and that my dad is hilarious
-can hang with my siblings
-loves to travel
-appreciates how I talk and sing to myself
-plays an instrument (preferably the guitar or piano)
-doesn't feel threatened by my love for Justin Timberlake
-loves kids
-works hard
-values education
-loves to travel
-is trustworthy
-is my best friend


These are in no particular order. Some may be negotiable, but many are deal-breakers. I realize that I may never find someone who is "perfect" for me and that's okay-I have 30 years of proof that I will be better than fine.


So while I might not be able to answer the question, "Why are you still single?", obviously I can answer (and encourage) the question, "What do you look for in a man?" 
And I'd love to hear, "Have you met my friend, [insert potential man's name here]? I think he'd be perfect for you." 


You hear me, Cupid?