The Thirty Things Every Woman Should Have And Should Know By The Time She's 30

I came across this list the other day, which was originally written by Pamela Redmond Satran for Glamour magazine in 1997. 
I definitely didn't have or know all 30 things when I turned the big 3-0 in August, but I do think they are worth working for in the near future. 

By 30, you should have ...

1. One old boyfriend you can imagine going back to and one who reminds you of how far you’ve come.
I've got plenty of 'em who remind me how far I've come. They'll all be in the book I'm writing.

2. A decent piece of furniture not previously owned by anyone else in your family.

Check.

3. Something perfect to wear if the employer or man of your dreams wants to see you in an hour.
The man of my dreams would love to see me in my sweatpants, and so would the employer of my dreams for that matter. So, check.

4. A purse, a suitcase, and an umbrella you’re not ashamed to be seen carrying.

5. A youth you’re content to move beyond.

6. A past juicy enough that you’re looking forward to retelling it in your old age.
Like when I was a junior in college and I missed a week of school to go to Daytona with my friend Matt so that I could meet a boy with whom I'd been talking on the phone for months? Yeah, that should probably be in the book, too.

7. The realization that you are actually going to have an old age -- and some money set aside to help fund it.
Gulp.

8. An email address, a voice mailbox, and a bank account -- all of which nobody has access to but you.
Duh.

9. A résumé that is not even the slightest bit padded.
Proud to say "check."

10. One friend who always makes you laugh and one who lets you cry.
I feel blessed to have many friends that make me laugh and let me cry, and who make me laugh so hard that I cry.

11. A set of screwdrivers, a cordless drill, and a black lace bra.
I do not have a cordless drill...I think we're all safer that way.

12. Something ridiculously expensive that you bought for yourself, just because you deserve it.

Merry Christmas, to me.

13. The belief that you deserve it.

14. A skin-care regimen, an exercise routine, and a plan for dealing with those few other facets of life that don’t get better after 30.
I've got the skin-care regimen down but let's be honest: the others are works in progress...

15. A solid start on a satisfying career, a satisfying relationship, and all those other facets of life that do get better.
I love my job, I love my family and friends, and I look forward to what the next thirty years have in store.

By 30, you should know ...

1. How to fall in love without losing yourself.
True that.

2. How you feel about having kids.
I am not interested in being a mother unless I am in a stable, loving marriage. I really feel that it is God's will. In the meantime, I am a godmother, an honorary aunt to my friends' children, and I am anxiously awaiting the birth of my first niece in July.

3. How to quit a job, break up with a man, and confront a friend without ruining the friendship.
Check. Check. Check.

4. When to try harder and when to walk away.

5. How to kiss in a way that communicates perfectly what you would and wouldn’t like to happen next.
Wink.

6. The names of the secretary of state, your great-grandmothers, and the best tailor in town.
Is it sad that I know Hilary Clinton is our Secretary of State, but can only name one of my great-grandmothers? You don't need to answer that, I already know. Gotta remedy that ASAP.

7. How to live alone, even if you don’t like to.
Me = The Champ 

8. Where to go -- be it your best friend’s kitchen table or a yoga mat -- when your soul needs soothing.
Seneca Park, my parents' pool, my couch.

9. That you can’t change the length of your legs, the width of your hips, or the nature of your parents.
I'm actually okay with all of these.

10. That your childhood may not have been perfect, but it’s over.
My childhood was great. It's high school that I'm glad to have in the books.

11. What you would and wouldn’t do for money or love.
Can't say that I've ever really given this much thought.

12. That nobody gets away with smoking, drinking, doing drugs, or not flossing for very long.

13. Who you can trust, who you can’t, and why you shouldn’t take it personally.
Yep.

14. Not to apologize for something that isn’t your fault.

15. Why they say life begins at 30.
Still learning...

So what do you think? I know that many of you reading this are like me, and have already celebrated 30 years of life. How many items were you able to check off the list before your 30th birthday?

Trash Talk is Trashy

I blogged on Wednesday, March 7 the following: I love filling out a "dream bracket" on which all the underdogs that I like advance and my Cardinals manage to meet & beat UK along the way to their Championship. True to my word, here's this year's bracket in all its glory:

Most people laughed at me when they heard who I had picked for my Final Four. Well guess what? 2012 has turned my dream into a reality. 


Who's laughing now? 


Me. The answer is me. I'm the one laughing, as I sing along to "Party in the USA" by Miley Cyrus on repeat. By the way, I've changed the lyrics to "It's a party in the Ville today". Don't hate.


Not only are my Louisville Cardinals meeting the Kentucky Wildcats, they are meeting in the Final Four. It doesn't get bigger than this for either group of fans. If you're not familiar with the rivalry (or if you just want to get more familiar), here's a great breakdown:Basketball Armageddon


Seconds after it was confirmed that UofL would indeed play UK on college basketball's biggest stage, a Facebook friend had already posted the words: "bring on the trash talk." 
With a roll of my eyes and a heavy sigh, I immediately closed my laptop.


Why? Because I simply cannot stand trash talk. Maybe it's my fear of confrontation. Maybe it's because I make my living teaching children to use kind words. Maybe because I think it's a waste of time. Yeah, that's the one-waste of time.


You like your team, I like mine. The end. 


I for one am proud of the fact that the fine state of Kentucky has not one, but two teams in this year's Final Four. I respect the Wildcats, but I love the Cardinals. It's been that way since birth and it's not going to change. And yes, this Friday I will be wearing this nerdy/fun piece of attire to work:

But that does not mean that I want to get into a war of words with any of my UK fan-coworkers. 


On a side note, I wore this shirt to a store recently and the clerk got rowdy when I walked up to the counter saying, "Aw no! Boo! That shirt is all wrong!" 
I said, "I take it you're a UK fan." 
To which she responded, "You're joking, right?" 
As I wiped the sweat from my forehead that began to seep out of my pores upon her verbal assault, the clerk's coworker informed her that the shirt read "Louisville is greater than Kentucky". 
"Oh, my bad. I thought it was the other way around," apologized the clerk. "Go Cards!"
As I left the store, these were the thoughts swirling around my mind: Is it more sad that this woman couldn't read my shirt, or that she's a Cards fan who couldn't read my shirt? What if I had been a UK fan? How would I have responded then? Is it hot in here? 
The fact that I went into my classroom the next day and reviewed 'greater than/less than' is irrelevant to this blog post, but rest assured my 3rd graders know how to properly read my shirt.


Any who...Although on game day I may be thinking negative things about the other team, and occasionally saying them aloud in the privacy of my own home, I will never write them on Facebook or say them to your face. 'Cause at the end of the day, they are not going to make my team play any better. 


So let's just agree to disagree and enjoy this sweet March Madness miracle. Keep it classy in the Bluegrass, friends. May the best team win. 
GO CARDS!

A Little Laugh

If you aren't familiar with e-cards, you've come to the right blog. I like to think of them as big laughs that come in little packages. I've seen a few of them on Facebook, and have collected the others via Pinterest. There are many, many hilarious e-cards out there for your viewing pleasure. In no particular order, here are some of my laugh-out-loud favorites:

It's funny 'cause it's true.

Thin Mints, to be exact.

I'm looking at you, Jenny. College Part 2?

Duh.

Throw in some Cardinal basketball-watching on TV and you've got my plan for this very Saturday as a matter of fact.

Seriously, stop it.

I bet Juvenile wrote this one.

Could not have said it better myself.

This world would be a much better place if "Sweatpants Monday" was a real thing.

This gets truer with every second that I age.

Thanks, Court. No one understands my friends Bella and Edward like you.

Could I sing this in my classroom at least once a day? Yes. In an opera voice? You bet.

And to find more e-cards.

I hope you had yourself a little laugh. Audrey Hepburn does too: "I love people who make me laugh. I honestly think it's the thing I like most, to laugh. It cures a multitude of ills. It's probably the most important thing in a person." 
Not probably, Ms. Hepburn. It IS the most important thing. Find what makes you laugh, people.

The Madness Has Officially Commenced

Happy St. Patrick's Day, y'all!

The Louisville Cardinals & St. Patrick's Day: Two of my favorite things in this wide world, and the most important things about today, all wrapped up into one glorious article of clothing. I don't care how hot it gets today (the high is projected to be 79 degrees), I'm going to be wearing this sweatshirt, and wearing it with more pride than the Irish feel for their beloved patron saint, mind you. The Cards are scheduled to tip off at 9:40 p.m. and until then I will be soaking up all the Celtic celebration and NCAA Tournament action I can handle.

It's hard to imagine today's teams being able to top the magic we all witnessed yesterday. And by that I mean two 2-seeded teams losing to 15 seeds. Sorry, Duke and Missouri fans. But that. Was. Awesome! Thank you, Lehigh and Norfolk State for busting my bracket. No, I mean it. Who cares about the $5 I donated to my coworkers? It was worth every penny to experience the excitement that last night's games afforded. The Madness is officially upon us, people!

Speaking of madness, if you haven't seen the UPS commercial depicting the "logistics" it took for Grant Hill to pass the ball to Christian Laettner in the 1992 Duke victory over Kentucky, crawl out from the rock you've been living under and join the rest of us, please.

I'm sorry, UK fans-I know this moment is one that you would prefer to forget ever happened. I get it. Believe it or not, my 10 year-old self was cheering for your Wildcats in that East Region final game. I remember the shock that was written all over the faces of my family members watching along with me that night. It hurt. Real bad. I dislike Duke as much as you do, trust me.

But the backlash this commercial has caused the Big Blue Nation is laughable. I love to see people get fired up about things that, in the grand scheme of things, seriously do not matter. I haven't talked to anyone from UPS' marketing department or anything, but I'm pretty sure they did not intend to upset UK fans with their ad. Here's a little taste of the madness to which I eluded: 

UPS blog

Crazy Kentucky Fan

Thanks to Card Chronicle for bringing these to my attention. To my friends that are UK fans, please try not to take this commercial (or blog post) personally. There are bigger fish to fry in this world. For you, today that fish is Iowa State. Like you, I hope the Wildcats pull off the victory, too. Let's face it: my bracket needs all the help it can get.

Yes, I'm giggling right now.

I could say that WVU, UConn, and Notre Dame have shamed the Big East, but I won't 'cause I don't really care. Syracuse, you and Marquette can go ahead and lose too if you want. I tasted the sweetness of upsets last night, and I'm hungry for more today. Go Murray State! Go on, VCU! Get it, Colorado!

But most importantly, GO CARDS (men and women)!

Be safe and have fun today, friends! Let the madness continue.

I Told Ya So

I'm not gonna say, "I told ya so," but... Only 4 days ago I posted that March was the best month, and this epic week did nothing but prove me right.
Let's back it up to last Saturday when one Mr. Jimmy Buffet graced the state of Kentucky with his presence for the first time since 1990. I was among the lucky 17,000 Parrotheads to witness the 27-song set that lasted over two hours! 

I know what you're thinking, and the answer is yes, I did have good seats. Mr. Buffet said that he and the Coral Reefer Band loved their trip to Louisville so much, that they'd be back again next year! So if you weren't as fortunate as I was last Saturday, maybe you can catch the Fin Land tour in 2013.

Y'all are already familiar with my love for March Madness, and this week did much to strengthen that love. On Tuesday, the Big East conference kicked off in NYC. By Saturday, the 16 teams involved had dwindled to 2, one of those being my beloved Cardinals. At approximately 11:15 PM, tears of joy were streaming down my face as I watched those Cardinals celebrate their victory over Cincinnasty (no, that's not a typo) as the 2012 Big East Champions. 

To end a season that has been, in one word, frustrating, on a note like this, just further justifies my adoration for the mystique that is March Madness.


Just hours prior to watching this glorious moment, I was privileged enough to witness Bellarmine's first round victory over Lewis. It's hard to put into words just how proud I am to see Knights Hall so alive with spirit. 9 years ago (yikes, 9-really?) as a Bellarmine student, I never could have imagined cheering for this team as it tries to defend its Division II National Championship. 

Check out the monster dunk by Chris Dowe (at about the 1:05 mark) that was the exclamation point of the evening: http://www.wlky.com/video/30655089/detail.html
Tonight I will head back to Knights Hall for round 2. I have a fever, people. And the only cure is more basketball.


All I'm saying is, March is what it's all about. Do yourself a favor and be a part of it.

The Marvelous Madness That Has Always Been March

It's no secret that March is my favorite month of the year. Sure, I love December and all it's Christmas glory. And I'd be lying if I said that June and its summer break goodness doesn't bring me a complete feeling of euphoria every year. And we all know how I feel about August, also known as the 30-day celebration of my birth. But I'm sorry, December, June, and August-you're no March.


First and foremost, March is the much welcome sign that flippin' February is over. Hallelujah! 
And coming in at a close second, March is the month that my little sister, Jill (AKA Jillers, Willy Wonka, Jillian, Philly Cheesesteak, and Phyllis McNutt) came into this world.

Her birthday usually becomes a combo March Madness party, which brings me to the next reason that I heart March: Basketball. To say that I live for this sport is not an exaggeration. I make all my plans around UofL's schedule. I save a personal day every year just incase their first round game is before 3:00. I love filling out a "dream bracket" on which all the underdogs that I like advance and my Cardinals manage to meet & beat UK along the way to their Championship. 
My love for basketball isn't limited to Men's Division I. I love following the Lady Cards in their tourney journey. And getting to cheer my Bellarmine Knights onto the Division II National Championship last year was the cherry on top of an already spectacular sundae!

Next to the basketball ballyhoo, March is tops because it holds the holiday of my favorite saint. As far as this Irish girl is concerned, St. Patrick's Day is where it's at. I mean how can you not love a day full of shamrocks, spirits, and smiles?

March is also the time of year that groceries unleash the wonders that are the Cadbury Mini Eggs. Sorry, Halloween, but you and your candy corn have nothing on Easter candy. My mouth is watering just thinking about them.

And as if I didn't have enough reasons to love this month already, March will now be known as the month that I learned my McNugget is a girl! I can't wait to meet her! Check out Kate's blog for an adorable video of the gender reveal party: http://www.southerndwellings.blogspot.com/

As I wrap up this blog post, the sun is shining through my windows-a happy reminder that Spring is right around the corner. Thank you, March! Best. Month. Ever.

Worst Question Ever

Recently I was asked (what I deem to be one of the worst questions in the world): Why are you still single?


Look, if I knew the answer to that, then I probably wouldn't still be single. 
Some people think I'm being too picky. Maybe I am. But I'm not going to settle for someone who doesn't make me completely happy.  I'm in the market for a particular model. What model is that? Well there's a question that I'm glad you asked.


For me, the perfect man:
-makes me laugh...All. The. Time.
-thinks family is numero uno
-likes that I speak Spanglish
-keeps his nose hairs trimmed...trust me, I know you have it. I do NOT need to see it! And speaking of hair...
-has just the right amount of hair-somewhere between an olympic swimmer and a yeti
-loves sports as much as I do, particularly those played by a certain team of Cardinals
-believes in God
-gets out on the dance floor, shamelessly
-cooks
-cleans
-likes playing board games
-doesn't smoke
-doesn't need to drink to have a good time
-thinks that my mom is awesome and that my dad is hilarious
-can hang with my siblings
-loves to travel
-appreciates how I talk and sing to myself
-plays an instrument (preferably the guitar or piano)
-doesn't feel threatened by my love for Justin Timberlake
-loves kids
-works hard
-values education
-loves to travel
-is trustworthy
-is my best friend


These are in no particular order. Some may be negotiable, but many are deal-breakers. I realize that I may never find someone who is "perfect" for me and that's okay-I have 30 years of proof that I will be better than fine.


So while I might not be able to answer the question, "Why are you still single?", obviously I can answer (and encourage) the question, "What do you look for in a man?" 
And I'd love to hear, "Have you met my friend, [insert potential man's name here]? I think he'd be perfect for you." 


You hear me, Cupid?